Are you experiencing Emotional Abuse?

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope an a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, ‘ and will bring you back from captivity…'”

(Jeremiah 29:11-14a, NIV)

Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman, and the standards for this covenant are clearly outlined in the Scripture, including:

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife and Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds it and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body.”  

(Ephesians 5:22-30, NIV)

In my first marriage, I did everything to be a submissive, obedient wife, yet it was never enough. And no matter what the problem, it was always ultimately my fault: which is why it was so difficult for me to understand that the breakdown of my marriage was the result of my then-husband’s failure to uphold his covenant relationship with me. He didn’t love me as Christ loved the church – he loved having the power he held over another person – me. It wasn’t me that he missed when we separated, it was his lack of control over what I did that he missed. And when I was not longer there, he exerted his need for control over our daughter, leaving scars that will linger for her whole life.

If you feel that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, check out these links to discover if you see your own situation in these signs:
Signs of Emotional Abuse in Marriage
Signs of Emotional Abuse
10 Signs You May Be In an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
15 Signs You’re In an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

If you do see yourself, realize you are not alone. You are not worthless; our Heavenly Father cares deeply for you and your situation. And you do NOT have to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship. I’ve been where you are, and I care. I will pray with you, cry with you, listen to you, and try to help you find resources in your area to help you out of your situation, so please do not hesitate to contact me. You can do so privately by leaving a comment on this page (any comments on this page will remain unpublished) with your email address.

There is new joy on this journey, on my way home to my Father’s house,
Cindy <><